The Apprentice

I started watching The Apprentice. I've never watched it before, as ego-driven, self-obsessed, jargon-riddled prats are not my thing. However, it is entertaining. The petty in-fighting, the ridiculous attempts at one-upmanship, the dismissive way with Alan Sugar and his lackeys deal with the contestants is hilarious.

I watched the first episode yesterday, and the guy who got fired was the Project Manager for that task. He was an accountant, and was desperately trying to prove to anyone who would listen that he was not in the mould of your average accountant. However, the task at hand required basic accountancy skills, and the failure of the task possibly would have been saved by a pause to work out the mathematics.

However, Edward was determined to prove he wasn't an accountant. He even called himself a wheeler-dealer. Lord Sugar, Harry Redknapp, and Del Boy are the only people allowed to describe themselves as wheeler-dealers, and one of them is fictional. In trying to avoid what he was good at, what he knew, Edward missed a real opportunity. Using just an ounce of those skills would have saved him the trouble of being fired.

Sometimes we Christians can be like that. We're so determined to prove that we're good Christians that we forget to use the skills God has given us. My spiritual director has a real problem with Christians who get so caught up in what we think we should be doing, that we forget who we are. Edward got carried away trying to be a leader, and not being an accountant, and he got fired. We are people, designed and created by God with certain characteristics. We are called to love God with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, and all our strength. We are not called to love God with the best bits and the bits we hope to be and the bits we think we should be.

God loves us now. We should return him the favour.

Forgiveness And Random Acts of Kindness

I'm not sure whether it's because it's Good Friday, but the BBC decided to run with a great article about forgiveness today. It comes after the brother of a murdered schoolgirl in London has said he is willing to forgive: click.

I contemplated apologising for writing about forgiveness again, but as we can't seem to get enough of the stuff to go around the world, I think another mention or two doesn't go amiss.

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A friend posted a status yesterday about a random act of kindness, where a complete stranger paid the bus fare that she didn't have. The story cheered me, but I got to thinking - isn't it odd that we celebrate these events? In a normal/better/perfect world [delete as your worldview allows] wouldn't being human be defined by these acts? It wouldn't be out of the ordinary, but normal.

Jesus, teach us how to be human.

Outcasts

Did you hear the one about the rapper and the spy on the new planet?

I have recently become slightly enamoured with new BBC (attempt at) sci-fi, Outcasts. Basic premise is that Earth has gone kaboom!, and the most vital of people have been sent in transporters to a new habitable planet. The series then looks at how this new community survives.

There are plot holes and acting discrepancies throughout. That's annoying. They ramp up a mystery in one episode only to take up an entirely new thread in the next. There are presumably thousands of people in the settlement, yet we only ever consistently meet 6 of them. The writers are clearly hopeful that anyone watching won't mind, and will just be dragged along by the (usually) brilliant musical score and dramatic action. Which, I must admit, I have been sucked into.

But I bring it up not because I particularly think you should watch it - although you should - but because of some of the ideas it explores.

Settling on a new planet is presumably a stressful experience. I wouldn't know, myself, but I'm guessing. However, we are given hints at the characters past lives and mistakes they made on Earth, and how life on Carpathia (the planet is named after the ship that picked up survivors from the Titanic) is a second chance for them. As with every society, they attempt to set up a utopia - and, as with every society, they fail. But what is so key is that the leader of this fledgling society begins to understand that despite the new opportunity, humans are fundamentally selfish people, and there is no getting away from that, however many light years away you are.

I doubt the BBC will continue with Outcasts - apparently they shifted from Monday night to Sunday night because the ratings dropped below 3 million - but I would genuinely appreciate a second series. One where the writers learn not to treat the viewers as idiots, some of the detail of the settlement is revealed, and we have less 'grit', and more humour.

Oh, and while you're at it, bring back Firefly?

Top Three Catholic Apps

The Catholic Church, bless their cotton vestments, has given the OK to an app on the iPhone which guides you through your confession, according to the BBC.

I knew this was something significant to blog about, but wondered quite seriously about what angle to take upon such an event. I then abandoned all trains of thought and went for flippancy, as my default setting.

So, what other apps could the Catholic Church approve of? My top 3 suggestions for potential developers out there.

1. Angry Birds - set in the modern era, you are a frustrated Catholic woman who has had her rights stolen by some (green) prigs. You have to use charm, logic and a working knowledge of physics (but just remember what they did to Galileo!) to try and break down out-dated values. Unending gameplay - you never successfully complete the mission!

2. The Sins - design, build and control people and places. You decide what is right and wrong, and can duly punish those who go against your will. You are limited to what the Creator of the app has designed, but other than that, it seems you're pretty much in charge of your little world!

3. Need For Speed: Popemobile™ - you are the driver of the Popemobile™, and you have to make your way slowly through crowds of adoring worshippers. Don't turn too quickly, or you might topple the potentate! Various slow-driving scenarios available, in over 25 world cities!

Any further additions to the broadening Catholic iPhone app stable? Get involved.

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I must note that the above is pure flippancy, and not meant to be taken seriously.

a new year

So, I realise I've been incredibly lax with my blogging of late. As kindly pointed out by my darling girlfriend, the date of my last post coincided with her return from university. Purely coincidental, I tell you.

Anyhow, a few things to cheer your soul.

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I finished watching the BBC's Nativity last night, in floods of tears. Not only was the production and acting terrific, the portrayal of God stepping down as a man was astonishing. The risk involved: a small child; fragile and perfect. To quote the programme:

'Not only a bridge between heaven and earth. But God coming to earth, as a man.'

Quite astonishing.

However, it was slightly sullied by professional douchebag Stephen Green not being able to understand the idea of 'poetic licence' and 'dramatisation' which will often expand a story beyond the original text. I don't think anyone is claiming that this portrayal is gospel. It is 'merely' a great reminder that our God became a man, and lived among us.

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Y'know those times where it's clearly inappropriate to make jokes? Funerals, Remembrance Day, Sundays (if some Christians are to be believed). Well, add 'Oxford University interviews' to that list.

A friend, planning to study Geography, was in a room with three interviewers at Hertford College, being asked a variety of questions. She was then asked to talk about the importance of Geography, or some such nonsense. She responded with a reply of which I think I would have been proud:

"Well," she said, "without Geography, you'd be nowhere."

She didn't get in.

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Haste the Day are a metal band. They produce riffage and screaming. So when they cover (and improve) pop songs, it's got to be worth a listen, right?

And here's the original, for your delectation.

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I shall post some other things at another time. Thanks for bearing with me.

So I'm pootling around the office, sorting out a few things, and the 'phone rings:

"Hi, my name's [unintelligible Scottish accent] and I work for BBC London. I was just looking through the local papers to find some human interest stories to pad out silly season, because there's no real news happening, and wondered if you were still doing your Holiday at Home event?'*

"Er, no, it's already happened."

"Oh. Well, send us an email next year, maybe, and we'll see what we can do."

Oh, the life of a church worker. The glamour and fame of... BBC London.



*sentence may have paraphrased from her actual spiel.

On Stupid Headlines

The BBC have today been running a report on an NHS Trust in Staffordshire.

The headline that the BBC have gone with is "Hospital left patients 'sobbing.'" Not, as elsewhere reported in the story, "400 'needless' deaths," "Patients routinely neglected," or even "Hospital in Staffordshire is a bit rubbish, really." A bizarre and ridiculous focus on the human element, complete with pictures of people looking unhappy. I fully acknowledge there is a human cost to this - the NHS, for all its brilliance, considerably loses its sheen when it chases after money-saving measures and target-driven ideals, as opposed to, er, life-saving measures and people-driven ideals. But seriously - prioritising the living who were driven to tears of frustration instead of, well, 400 dead people is a strange choice to make.

I know, if I had a choice, which I'd rather be. And thus, I'd rather see a headline not about me.