A summation of my feelings at the moment

Oh, my good Lord, I'm moving on Tuesday and starting work and going to be in a strange place and I don't know what to take and I don't know what I need and I don't want to go and I want to be comfortable and be with my friends and drink cider and take photographs and snuggle and love and cry and be Well Within My Comfort Zone, Thank You Very Much.

Urgh. God help me.

Moving on

I desperately want to move on from that post being the first thing I see when I open my blog. So, a few things:

I'm soon going to a barbecue to celebrate the birthday of a Mr. David Hallissy. He is such a delight, and I'm very much looking forward to seeing him, and other wonderful people from college. Today has been a downer, but I'm hoping that remembering my community, just a taste of where I belonged best will remind me of my hope of things yet to come.

Tomorrow morning I journey north with some of my best friends to witness the wedding ceremony of Dan and Jenn. It will be a couple of days of frolics and fun, lots of beautiful photographs, and another reminder of the good things that God has provided for us. I hope I come back refreshed.

And then, cue dramatic music, I start work next week. Exhilarating, exciting, apprehensive, and hopefully, trusting. It's thrilling, but also quite nerve-wracking to be a part of something so big and responsiblity-laden as the church. I'm glad God is bigger than any of my fears.

This is all, for now. Please keep me in your prayers. You are greatly appreciated.

A Public Apology

I have previously written some things, now deleted, about the summer camp that I am a part of that need to be rectified.

a) There was information about the children at the camp that probably have never been on such a public forum.

b) There was phrasing about incidents at camp that didn't reflect the true nature of what happened.

I had thought that I had skated over the issues enough for this not to be a problem. Turns out I didn't skate enough for a), and too much for b). I am genuinely sorry to those I have hurt by this. The last thing this blog is meant to do is cause divisions, nor misrepresent people. I feel stupid for doing so. Forgive me.

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A quick edit later: I'm also equally sorry to those that have read anything I have written about camp, and come away with a bad impression. It's an astonishing place, where lives are changed and God is glorified. I've never meant to put the good name of the camp down, and I will defend it to the hilt. It's a place I love, and cherish, since going there as a camper - and receiving my call to theology and churchwork - and more recently being part of the leadership team. I cannot stress highly enough that I would never intend to besmirch the name of the children, the leaders, or the camp.

On a completely jovial and unrelated note to... well, anything, I have been introduced to this fantastic website by the darling Miriam: please enjoy me.

One of the toughest questions

Something I have been toiling with over the last year and a bit is the subject of homosexuality, and how it works within the church. The common stance on homosexuality is taken by my friend Sam, here. The less common, but equally valid side is expounded here, written by an anonymous lady, but posted by my friend Phil.

I struggle. I agree with Sam to an extent, but am utterly ashamed of how he deals with the issue. But upon reading the heartfelt words of Phil's friend, I find it difficult to find a leg to stand on.

I want to love. That's what I want to do. And I think, I think, that if I'm to do that, I need to change my ideas. All I feel I can do is to pray and ask the good Lord above to love like he loves. I hope that if I love like Him, I will be closer to the right answer than to the wrong one.

I do hope that anything I have said hasn't opened any wounds, nor burnt any bridges. I know there are people that will read this who will be hurt by Sam's words, or offended by what was posted on Phil's blog. I pray that as a church communal, we praise God for each others' differences, and learn how to live with each other.

Beautiful

Spending a week at Soul Survivor has made me dislike this song (for which I can't find the music, but here are the lyrics). The verses, as you will see, despite the first one being slightly pantheistic, are generally sound. However, the chorus trails off into '...you're Beautiful'. Which, I cannot deny being true. There is no doubting the beautiful nature of God, Psalm 27 proclaims it. But aside from that one reference, I'm a little unsure of how much modern worship songs should be focusing on it.

Interestingly, Jesus' physical appearance is described as, well... average. He was nothing to look at. And while what has been done for us inspires us to all sorts of praise, I'm a little overwhelmed by the plethora of lovey-dovey, Jesus-is-my-girlfriend (to steal a phrase from an angry Scottish man) type songs. There's a time and a place for adoration, don't get me wrong - but we can't seriously be wondering why there are a lack of men in the church if we consistently churn out this bile.

Bekah and I have decided to take this song to town, and perhaps re-record it. If we can, it'll still contain the encouraging and uplifting lyrics. However, the chorus might be changed to acknowledge some of the different aspects of the Godhead, such as: '...you're masculine.'

Here's hoping. Thoughts and opinions welcomed. I just might not agree with you.

Thursday Evening

The evening meeting was fun. The guy who did the talk was from New Zealand, and he gave a very heartfelt talk about how we should, as Christians, love everyone. It was largely based upon his experience with a junkie who he had taken in, and how one goes about loving the unloveable.

A few things he mentioned really struck home. In talking about loving, he touched upon the servant nature that should inhabit Christendom. Everyone wants to be a somebody, he said, but Jesus would much rather use a tentful of nobodies. I'd quite like to be a nobody if it lets Jesus become somebody to others.

Just as he was closing, he mentioned the oft-quoted defence of those who don't want to anything about the last, the lost, the least: 'Jesus said: the poor will always be amongst you.' He pointed out that because of our comfortable, rich, Western churches, the poor are often not with us. In fact, to say they are always with us is a complete untruth.

I pray that we do something about changing the state of play. But there's no point praying it if I don't do anything. So, if you and I are in the street together, and we see a homeless person, remind me to help them out.