Monday, 22 September 2008

A Fair Culmination of the Last Week

I have recently discovered the readership of this blog has gone up by 50%. That is to say, where previously I knew of two people who read it, I now know of three. Some smart alec will correct my maths, but it works in my head. But owing to this conversation, I have decided to blog again, after a week of silence, in which various factors such as bitterness, laziness, and Working My Socks Off have halted the progress of the blog machine.

Oh, and a simple apology to Tim, who has probably heard all this, spewed up in the last week in some form. So, sorry.

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First of all; an appeal. Not just to anyone, but to those who are ever planning, in some way, shape or form, to ever join together with another human being in holy matrimony/civil partnership/common or garden marriage. It does not matter if you are not currently engaged, nor even in a stable relationship, nor even if you're still playing kiss chase. I don't care. All I ask is this: Please, please, please, for the love of all that is good and holy, and whatever you share a passing interest in, make sure your wedding invitations are unequivocally clear, and have not even a sniff of ambiguity about them as regards whether that person is invited to wedding/reception/after-party. Please. That is all.

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Staying with the theme of weddings; as various people have got married throughout the summer, the feeling has slowly overtaken me of being left behind. While this is horribly introspective and narcissistic of me, and I do share joy with those who have got married (just probably not as much), I seem to have this pervading sense of still being 14, while others have raced away into the big bad world of Adulthood. Some may argue that this is a good thing to hang on; a child-like, (more -ish, if you ask me...) nature being something to aspire to. But it does feel like the maturity quota has left me a little short. I'm not sure I'm making my point, so I think I'll just finish this here.

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And to end on the most disturbing thought of all: Jesus has become a nice theological truism. And this is a critique of no-one but me. I was reading through the gospel of Matthew, and compared the Jesus I found in those pages to the Jesus I thought I knew. Somewhere, somehow, 'my Jesus' had become an excuse for my shortcomings, in that I knew 'my Jesus' would forgive me were I to say to sorry and repent. But the Jesus I found in the gospel was one who asked difficult, awkward, frustrating things and demands a life of repentance. Oh, to live in that truth. Help me.

1 comment:

Swandive said...

Excuse me for a moment while I indulge you in a little My Honest Opinion.

I hope that you know by now that I whole heartedly respect your faith as well as your faith in your faith (!), but my main criticism of Christianity and many religions as a whole is that so often they are seen as rules and regulations, making it difficult for one to distinguish oneself from one's faith. I believe that you for one maintain the perfect balance of both devoting yourself to Jesus whilst simultaneously seeing through clear eyes that allow you to form your own opinions on morality etc. and, perhaps most importantly, maintaining a close relationship with God. I know that I know little in terms of theology and perhaps even Christianity, though I do believe that a God who's love you can feel so purely and unerringly would not want for you to question too much your relationship with them. To live a life of repentance surely could not lead one to happiness and I am certain that to live by one's own morality, - of course taking the Bible's word into consideration - as long as you still feel the love and approval from Jesus/God then surely you are doing no 'wrong'.

I hope this made some sense. I know what I mean, I'm just a little lacking in words on the subject.